How to kill 2 birds in 1 stone?

If you want to say something that stings, use irony. Consider this letter to the editor:

WE hail Press Secretary Cerge Remonde for urging the Senate to go easy on investigating the spate of workers’ deaths at Hanjin Heavy Industries because of possible repercussions on foreign investments.

The bottom line is this: This country has too many Filipinos, and too few foreign investments. What’s more, Filipino workers are being laid off, and foreign investments are projected to plummet this year.

What’s a paltry 19 deaths in three years at the Hanjin shipyard in Subic? Remonde’s call is brilliant because attracting more Hanjin-type investors will ease unemployment while addressing the overpopulation problem. He kills two birds, and even more Filipinos, with one stone."